Couldn’t help but think about the kind of life we’re trying to live in this program. It’s a sober life. One free of alcohol. But that alone I know is not enough. What is it that frees me from alcohol and allows me to live this sober life? It’s the change which I have undergone and the spiritual awakening. The process of these 12 Steps.
In other words, I recognize that it’s what the BB and my sponsor told me a long time ago. It’s the spiritual way of life. Still human, but also trying to live a way of life, which includes my higher power. My experience tells me that.
Ever since I was introduced to the 2nd Step and began to believe that a power greater than myself could do for me what I could not do for myself, things began to change. Over time this has been more and more apparent. I’m not the man, who came through these doors. I live differently, think differently, act differently. I no longer drink alcohol, nor do I want to. The desire for alcohol is gone and the mental obsession with it. I have been restored to sanity and placed in a position of neutrality, as far as alcohol is concerned. One of the spiritual awakenings promised in this program. The solution.
And just what was it that I was thinking about today? What I’m doing right now. Meditating. The 11th Step. This is one method of meditating. Writing my thoughts with the God of my understanding in mind. It’s just one of the ways I’ve learned to meditate. I also learned that I can do the same thing by drawing or listening to music.
Finally, I learned that I can sit still, close my eyes, empty my mind out of thoughts, and sit silently in what is called contemplation in the presence of my higher power. The whole idea is to be in the present. The “now”. The moment for a period of time. To be focused on what I believe is a conscious contact with the God of my understanding. Not looking for or expecting results. No sounds, no voice, not even a thought or inspiration. Just to be there and then let it go.
Oh, there are results. Peace of mind, serenity, a light hearted feeling. A sense of being in a better place. Hard to describe in words. I know others, who do the same thing, when walking or sitting considering nature and their surroundings.
One thing I know is that as much as I think or learn, I really have nothing that I can tell my higher power. He doesn’t really need my input, but I do need whatever he chooses to provide to me. Like my friend’s prayer, “Thank you God for all you have given me, thank you for all you have taken from me, and thank you for all you have left me.”.
Once again, I am reminded of the statement in the BB. The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.
Still human, still trying, still imperfect, still missing the mark, but still sober. Happy and grateful for all I have been given.