Well, here it is again. Just as my sponsor told me. The alcoholic, whom he said was insecure, immature, and oversensitive. If and when we outgrow this stage, I don’t know.
I was made to think about this today, when a friend of mine with a lot of sobriety came up to me and told about what happened today. His story is not important in the telling. It was just that the results he got demonstrated to me again what my sponsor told me.
That doesn’t mean that he’s that way all the time. Nor me either. But it did illustrate to me that when we’re back in our egos and self-centeredness, when we take over and are trying to run things on our own, we slip back into these stages once again. I know from my own experiences.
I know that as a result of my forgetting why I came here and losing awareness, I am headed for trouble. That’s when I can find myself speaking out of turn. Losing my temper and headed into resentments. I can find myself making judgements in situations that would be better left alone. Stepping into things and taking over, when I need to definitely back off and mind my own business.
Those immature thoughts and feelings are back, no matter how much in control I might think or feel I am. That’s when the reactions of others make me aware of my insecurity and my hurt feelings, as a result, lets me know that my pride has been bruised. Once again, oversensitive.
That’s about where my friend was, when he talked to me. But he was at a meeting, where he, like myself and others, were being reminded of what this program is all about. Being once more made aware that my primary purpose is to stay sober and to help another alcoholic. That’s what he did for me, when he told me his story. He helped me.