All day long I have been thinking about this spiritual way of life. Couldn’t help it. Talking to others and situations kept nudging me in that direction.
A lot of thoughts kept coming to the surface. What to do, when someone asks advice? Hah! Keep my mouth shut. What do I know? Then what do I say? How about taking the question to one’s Higher Power? How about reading and thinking about what has worked for me and so many others over the years. That the spiritual life is not a theory. It has to be lived.
Was I dodging helping someone, who needed help? No, I don’t think so. I have never been able to change anyone’s mind, once their minds are made up. Generally, they’re going to do what they have decided to do anyway. But, maybe sharing my experience just might make one pause and go back and do what so many of us had to do, when faced with a difficult question.
So, I did just that. I sent my thoughts, not on their question, but on who and what we alcoholics are. Ego centered, selfish, and the idea that it’s all about me. Like one very spiritual person told me one day a long time ago, that my ego was so big that there was no room for anyone else on this planet. Or did she say cosmos?
Then too, what Bill W. and others have said about us. Our character defects are such that we are driven to want more than is our “share”. To the point, where we want to run over anyone, who gets in our way of getting what we want. At least that was the way it was, when I was out there drinking. Over time in sobriety I have been able, with the help of my Higher Power and others to get them down to “manageable” size. But every once in a while…
And then, when it comes to making a decision on a “big” question, there are our emotions. When my emotions take over my making choices, watch out.
In the end, it’s going to my Higher Power and turning things over. Letting go and letting God. Having the faith that the God of my understanding can do for me what I can’t do for myself.
At the end of the day (not really, not yet) I have had to back off and do what I just have written. I guess that’s my 11th Step for now.
Oh, yeah. I also wrote that nothing’s worth a drink today. Our primary purpose is what it’s all about. To stay sober and help another alcoholic.