Kind of embarrassing to hear part of my story today. A person said they were coming back, having gone out and drank yesterday. This person had not been around long, but was angry at a lot of things. Especially the person, who was this person’s sponsor and a whole lot of anger at people in the program.
Some of that was just the way I was early on. At some point I decided I knew it all and no one in here knew what they were talking about. In a way I have to laugh and ask myself where all that came from. Probably fear that those old timers in here might just know what they were talking about and that scared me I guess. I wanted to get sober, but I didn’t cherish the idea of having to change.
Anyway, the responses this person was getting from a couple of people had little to do with alcoholism and recovery. It basically ran around psychology and doctors. That got me to raise my hand and talk about alcoholism and recovery. What do we think we’re doing, when we’re counseling and giving advice? My thought was to stick to the basics we learn in here. If this person wants to recover then at some point they, like we did, have to learn what this program is about. The solution to our problem with alcohol and how this program works.
However, though the thoughts of this person were pretty extreme, I could grasp some of what this person seemed to be thinking and it made me think.
It was just another reminder to me of just how much I don’t ever want to go back out there ever again. What is it they used to say? Been there, done that. Don’t want to do it again.
It was also a reminder of just how much this program has given me. A better way of living than I ever had before. And a reminder of how much I need the people in here to help me to stay sober. Not just the ones I talk to outside the meetings, but being at the meetings and being able to listen to what it is I need to hear. Things which always have helped me along in my journey on this road to sobriety. How can I ever forget that?