After a meeting today on our primary purpose, a few of us talked about writing things about our sobriety down. It was enlightening to hear others talk about something I believe in wholeheartedly.
For a lot of years now I have been doing this very thing. I’ve known others over time, who have done the same thing. Often for the same reason I do. It helps me focus on what it important in my staying sober. My primary purpose.
For a long time I kept journals on what I had heard, what I had read, what I had done in this program to practice what I had learned in here. Things my sponsor had told me and things I had heard from those old timers in here. It also emphasized the fact that we live this life just a day at a time.
A lot of it was dedicated to learning about my Higher Power. As time went on I could go back and see if I was making progress in this regard. Of course that was dependent on how much I was changing from the man I was, when I came in. The question, when I looked at my character defects, was I really growing along spiritual lines? Good question for this alcoholic.
One thing that was obvious, when it came to my primary purpose, was that I was still sober and didn’t want a drink of alcohol. That amazed me back then and still often comes to me as a miracle in my life. From not being able to turn a drink down to not just wanting a drink, but to not even thinking about one. That peace of mind alone always makes me grateful for what has happened to me.
And of course, the second part of my primary purpose, to help another alcoholic. And that’s another bonus in being able to focus in writing. I can better remember what has helped me so that I can relate that to someone else. My experience, strength, and hope. What’s important to me.
I always remember that time, when I was sent on a 12th Step call by my first sponsor. I was a mere six months in the program at that time. I hardly knew what the AA message was then. I hadn’t started writing things down yet, because I was too new and didn’t know any better.
But I did what I was told. I don’t think I had been with that alcoholic an hour in the hospital, when he asked me to leave. I did, but told myself that I had failed. I went to my sponsor and asked him why he had sent someone like me on that call. He said that he knew that if I could win the argument with myself I could stay sober. When I think back on it that’s always the result for alcoholics like me. It helps me stay sober by giving it away to someone else. Even if they refuse help.
I learned later that the man I went to see was a psychologist. Maybe that’s why he sent me. Who knows? I don’t. But the man did come in later and got sober. But that’s another story.
Just a reminder to me that this day, as all days, is about sobriety.