The question of faith was raised today. Interesting. Few actually touched it. Most stayed with the 8th Step.
But it did make me think. After I got home I had to sit and contemplate on what it means to me. I talked with another person about it and we went over a number of things. This person and I had a number of thoughts which we agreed on.
One of those thoughts had to do with the Serenity Prayer and the sometimes lack of acceptance to the things we cannot change. How we both had moments, when we still wanted to control those things, despite the total lack of control. Having tried to let go and let God, we both had these worries and concerns, which kept those things in our heads, still wanting to change whatever it was.
Then we talked about our almost total lack of knowledge about faith and yet our trust in Him. Funny how that works. And still with the lack of knowledge there was this element of understanding. I may not know but I do understand. And we both agreed and had to laugh at this. How is it that as we seem to lose knowledge of things we have learned that our understanding seems to grow? We didn’t have to describe it, because it is just there.
My faith started back when I took the 2nd Step. Even though I was trying to avoid the spiritual life, it began to grow. Over time in this program it has continued to evolve, just as my understanding of my Higher Power continues to evolve. It’s not something I’m always conscious of, but there are moments, probably in meditation or listening at meetings, it gradually changes and seems to expand. Again that sense of understanding.
We both seem to understand that this is an essential part of our staying sober and it is part of the process in here. A gift to both of us. I know it is part of why I need to give thanks for what I have received. Not just my sobriety, but the grace I have been given in this program. The spiritual awakenings a number of us have talked about these past few days.
Anyway, I had to sit and meditate on this this afternoon.