Here we go again. It’s nothing new, but certainly a wake up call for someone like me and apparently other folks like myself. What is it? People coming back from a “slip”.
The first three Steps was the subject today for a young man coming back. I paid attention and listened to those, who spoke about their experiences with alcohol and what it was that made them surrender to their being powerless over this disease and how they recovered and what they were doing to maintain their sobriety.
I spoke to a number of people after the meeting was over and almost all of them allowed how the turning point in their own return to alcohol was the same thing, as it was for others they knew, who did the same. Usually what the BB refers to. Getting cut off from the sunlight of the spirit by fostering resentments. Anger.
That thought alone was enough to get my attention. Why? Because my character defects are still active. It’s the one major defect so common to my thinking. It’s what gets my attention, when I find myself slipping into being disturbed. As bad as that sounds, it’s the one (among others) which drives me back to putting these Steps into action in my life. In some ways I might view it as being a “gift”. Learning over and over how to put these spiritual principles to use in my daily life.
It’s not fear, but awareness that rises to the surface, when I see myself slipping into a bad, negative mood about others. It makes me practice the old statement to stop and start my day over and get back into the positive. It pushes me to reach out to others and my Higher Power. To pray for others and to practice tolerance. It also makes me put the 10th Step into my consciousness. Where am I wrong? And I can often find it on my own. However there are moments, when talking to another sober alcoholic opens the door to my mind. Especially, when I want to refuse to see myself wrong.
Anyway, just sitting and listening to others trying to share their experience, strength, and hope with this unfortunate alcoholic. Lots of good stuff for me. Makes me grateful to have what I have. How fortunate I am that my bottom was what it was. It opened the door to this program and gave me my life back. A life I almost lost in my drinking alcohol. Just the memory of the power the drink had over me is enough to remind me that I never want to drink again.