Talking to people, who find themselves often stuck in their past, can be really painful. How difficult it is to try to help them change their minds. The past brings on painful emotions. Sadness, guilt, anger, worry, humiliation, self pity, and even resentments.
I know for myself that I have to often remind myself that the past is over. It’s done and there’s nothing I can do to go back and change it. The solution is to practice discipline to stay in the now. To live and think in the present tense. How do I do that? It’s not an easy task for someone like me, who never wanted to grow up and take responsibility. But with the help of others and my Higher Power it is much easier to do.
This kind of problem is a reminder that in spiritual matters it is dangerous to go it alone. It often takes me back to the word “acceptance”. The need I have to remind myself to surrender to the God of my understanding. To work the Steps and commit myself to this program, which has given me my sobriety. In fact my life. Gratitude alone should call my attention to stay in the now.
Anyway, just witnessing others problems and listening to them is I know a gift. It brings my attention back to what is important. My lack of knowledge, but the gift of understanding. I understand and am able to give that understanding to those like myself in this program. That’s exactly what was given to me by my sponsor and those old timers I knew through the years. They taught me understanding by their words and their actions.
The solution to this is, as always, spiritual. Experience has taught me that. I need only step back and accept it. Once again acceptance. It’s part and parcel of how I try to practice this program and stay sober. And that’s the bottom line to all of this, sobriety. My primary purpose.