One of the things I think about a lot is hope. Hope was one of the first real graces I received at the end of my drinking alcohol. It came from an offer of someone, who told me they would take me to a meeting. My first and that the men and women there stayed sober. It turned on a light within me. I can never forget that moment though it was many years ago.
More than that, it inspired me to do something I had failed to do all those years that alcohol owned me and ran my life. And was running my life down into the pits and death. And suddenly I was given hope and that led me to finally turn to my concept of God and to pray and ask for the help I needed desperately. I did and it changed my life. It stopped me from drinking. I wasn’t aware of anything about this program, but I was later to learn that what happened is what we talk about, when we speak of a spiritual awakening.
And what I was thinking about today was faith, although the thought of hope never goes away. Because what happened just as I described was to begin to open the door to faith. I never want to forget that either. The reason I say this is that after I came into the program I forgot what stopped me from drinking. In fact I forgot a lot of things, which led me to the doors of this program.
Not only did I forget that moment of prayer and God as I understood him at that time, but I also forgot what I learned from a friend of mine, who introduced me to some neighbors I never really knew, who had taken their time out to pray for me that I would get sober. Imagine! And their commitment ended right at the time I got sober and came into the program. Really? Yes, really.
And then the Step I often talk about in this program came into reality for me. It opened the door to the spiritual way of life and finally faith in a Power greater than myself. The Second Step. I often go back and mention how my old sponsor was responsible for bringing this Step into being in my life.
As I sit here thinking about this it inspires me and reinforces those things I have come to believe in, since I walked through these doors. It helped eliminate a lot of falsehoods I had held onto so desperately, while I was sinking down into my bottom. A lot I thought was true melted away as the light I was given in here showed me the way out of my former life. The Twelve Steps and all those old timers opened my mind and my heart, and gave me not only hope and faith, but the beginning of love I never knew before. How could I? I was blinded and deafened by alcohol for so many years it was impossible. And then that first moment of hope turned the light on in the darkness of despair that was inside of me. And then came faith.