When the topics were brought up today I felt like I was given a present. One was the importance of meetings and the other was really the Eleventh Step. Turning things over to my Higher Power. And that’s really what meetings do for me.
Anyway there were a few people recently in this program. A few days a few weeks. Maybe a few months, too. I knew they wanted to hear what meetings meant for old folks like myself. And it was a pretty much inspiring meeting. The Fifth Tradition so to speak.
My thoughts went back to how it was for me when I came in. How fearful and clumsy I was when it came to this program. I had already surrendered to the First Step without knowing what that was. I had already admitted I was totally powerless over alcohol and needed all the help I could get. And I did.
However I was to find out over time how much I needed to go to meetings and get the help in here I so desperately needed. Like a lot of people with time in here I have a sometime short term memory. I need to come back and be reminded of what I have forgotten. In here I get to hear what it is I need to do one day at a time. It reinforces my need to stay sober today.
On the other hand it allows people like myself to freely give to others what was so freely given to me by my old sponsor and those old timers. In other words the Twelfth Step. And not just to the new or recent members, but a lot of people with time in here who have found themselves buried in problems and almost not able to hear what is necessary to help us all stay sober.
Of course I’m thinking about the gratitude I know I need to practice in here. I have to exercise my thanks for what I have received a day at a time. I always think back to meetings I attended, when I was weighed down with a feeling of the world on my shoulders. I can remember how, by the end of those meetings, I would find the weight had been lifted from me. I was once again free. Never want to forget those moments in my life, because I learned the value of meetings for me.
And all of this is about living and practicing a spiritual way of life. Not perfect. Imperfect. I’m definitely not a saint. But I know, if I keep on trying, I can grow along spiritual lines. And that’s why the Eleventh Step can start my day, if I will continue to practice what I have learned in here from my old sponsor and the rest of those who gave me their examples. Prayer and meditation.
Anyway I had to stop and think about all of this, when I came home. I try to never forget these thoughts about how this program has opened the door to life for me. How often I find myself thinking and feeling amazed that I’m still here in spite of my alcoholism. Who would have thought, back when I was drinking, that I would be where I am today? Thanks to my Higher Power, my old sponsor, and all those who have helped me along the way. I hope I can repay all of this by helping others like myself.