One of the things I know I should have at the ready is something I have forgotten from time to time. I know how important it is because I have talked to others over time and had to tell them what they didn’t know and how to do it. And that’s, when I find myself in a bad place, to stop my day, no matter what time it is, and start it over.
I learned this from my old sponsor and others and how to practice it. It was something they knew alcoholics like myself needed. Especially when my faults were taking over and pulling me down with negative emotions.
I had to go over it today with someone, who had found themselves slipping down into a dark hole within themselves. I was able to talk to them and tell them what I had learned and I know they were going home and try to put it into action. I could well guess where they were because what they told me reminded me of the kind of help we all need. And stopping the day and starting it over is what we need to do when we find ourselves there.
I was told that when I found myself slipping down into negative emotions, anger, self pity, resentments, those old faults of ours, I was to stop where I was and do what I was told. If I was with people at the time, I needed to excuse myself, if I was in the middle or the center of attention. To step out of the room, if I was with others, and go someplace by myself. In the past I would be in my open office, for instance, and go into the men’s room and slip into one of the stalls and quiet down. Then to pray and ask for the help I needed to change. If I had the time to be silent and briefly meditate. The Eleventh Step, often preceded by the Tenth. And then make a commitment to be willing to change. Then to put a smile on my face and go into a positive attitude.
The next thing was to go back to where I was before and smile at others and, if need be, to talk in a cheerful way. Often I would make a joke and laugh and just as often I would get the same response from others and would find myself going through a remarkable change within myself. Even if it was serious business I would be positive.
Just as often, when I think about this I have to remember to remind myself what it says in the Ninth Step in the BB. That spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. And that would be exactly what I was doing. A reminder to me as to why I am here and what I’m supposed to be doing.
And, of course, it is something I need to think about each and everyday. I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. And to remember I’m here to practice these spiritual principles in all of my affairs. I know that I’m imperfect and will find myself falling back into my old faults. And when I catch myself doing this I was told to pick myself up and dust myself of and keep on keeping on. And that might mean I would have to start over.
Anyway I was glad that I could pass that on to someone else who needed it. Made me grateful to remember once again what I had been shown and to pass it on to others, who needed it. Reminded me that I am so grateful to my old sponsor and the others who have helped me over time. And, of course, my Higher Power, who has helped me so much over time to stay sober. Thanks so much.