Reading the Tenth Step in the 12&12 reminded me of something: restraint of tongue and pen. I had to step back and think about this. Not my quick reaction to things. Yet, I can remember my old sponsor, his wife, and other old timers. Made me go back and think.
I have from time to time stepped out and pushed others back. I know it had to do with others stepping out of line in this program. I’ve seen too much domination of our group by those, who believe they run this program. Their self education, without any steady learning from those who know this program, is what catches my attention. Lack of a sponsor is obvious.
Too often I go back and remember what it was like by those who knew the Traditions, that our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern.
Anyway I had to go back and read the rest of that paragraph, about self-restraint becoming automatic.
All this got me back to that moment in the day, when I’m reminded of why I am here. My anniversary yesterday definitely was a steady renewal. I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. And that Jan. 6 page in the 24 Hour a Day book, which was read to me at my first meeting years ago, told me that I can never afford to forget why I am here, even for a minute. I often read that over and over again. I was given a gift by an old timer in here. I never want to forget that moment.
Anyway I am grateful for all I’m related to over and over again. Doesn’t mean I won’t trip and stumble in here. I was told that by those old timers, who knew about alcoholism and this program. I am a human and not a saint. I will be this way until the end. All I want to always remember is that I’m here to stay sober. Never to drink alcohol ever again. Like I said, I need to give thanks to my Higher Power, this program, those old timers, and the rest in here, who have helped me…and continue to do so. Thanks.