Today I was once again reminded of that Fifth Tradition. Carrying the AA message to the alcoholic who suffers. And I’m always reminded of the long form of that Tradition. That the group ought to be a spiritual entity, whose primary purpose…
The reason was that we had a person, who just got out of rehab this morning. I heard a lot of alcoholics in this room, who, for the most part, told the story of their getting sober. And I’m always reminded of how it was for me. My wanting to end my life, because I couldn’t stop drinking. And then the hope I was given, which helped me to pray and ask for help. And I got that help.
When I woke up the next day, for the first time in years, alcohol was gone. And I have never really had it return. I always think about how much a one hundred percent surrender that was in my doing the First Step, even though I knew nothing about AA or the Steps. The point was that I told God, as I understood Him, that I was totally willing to surrender and give up alcohol, and the life I was living. And I knew that I never wanted to drink again.
As I told this newcomer today that I hoped they were in pain, which was what led to my being able to surrender. I was filled with despair back then. I knew that I was totally helpless, when it came to alcohol. And that’s when someone, who had heard about AA, told me about a place where men and women met and stayed sober together. He told me he would take me there, if I wanted it. I did and, though I had stopped drinking, it was five days later I went there, and have been in the program ever since. I told the person I never ever want to drink alcohol again. And that thought is only a day at a time.
I heard people in the room talk about getting up each and everyday and starting with a prayer. And that’s me too. This commitment is what it is. Complete and firm. I’m to stay sober a day at a time. I can never forget my old sponsor and those old timers, who emphasized this. If we are committed to more than just today, like the rest of our lives, we can well find ourselves wandering off. I’ve seen that and I know what so often happens. A return to alcohol and often death. I don’t want to go there.
Anyway, these last few days have been firmly on the Steps and nothing else. Amazing and wonderful. It makes me so grateful. I know I’m supposed to be able to express my thanks to my Higher Power, the program, and all those in here, who have helped me along the way. And that’s what I hope I’m doing.