One of those things, I know, which has caused me disturbance in my life, is that terrible emotion, resentments. However I have learned in here how I’m supposed to deal with this.
My old sponsor and old timers got my mind turned around in many ways. And then I learned in that Tenth Step where I had gone wrong. That was the axiom, spiritual in nature, which points out to me that, if it’s me, who is disturbed, I need to take responsibility. I may believe I’m angry at something someone has done. And the axiom helped me to back off and do what I need to do. I’m not responsible for anyone else. They could be innocent and my old angry mind could be blaming them for nothing at all. Even if they were in on it, I still can do nothing until I have cleaned up my side of the street. And often, after I have done that, I have found there is really no reason to continue.
One of those things I learned early on in here was what was in the BB about resentments. Drinking alcohol again and dying as a result. That seemed to be warning enough. However, as many know from me, two alcoholics, with about ten years each, had resentments and went back out and drank and then died. That was warning enough and got me to listen to my new sponsor. I learned from him that I was lying to myself. I had to stop and start over and begin to listen.
All that began to change within me, when I read that Second Step in the fourth chapter in the BB. There I learned that I needed to develop a spiritual way of life, or die an alcoholic death. That changed me and opened the door to a Higher Power.
And then the Third was the beginning of action in here. I moved on. It didn’t happen overnight. Like they say in here, time takes time. But I kept going to meetings, listening and learning. I shared with my old sponsor and he with me. I listened and began to change.
And all this helped me to begin to learn the old Eye over E. Intellect over emotions. And with help of my Higher Power and old timers I changed for the better.
Anyway I stopped and thought about this today. It’s part of what I need to do. It’s what helps me to stay sober a day at a time. Makes me grateful. I need to give thanks to my Higher Power and those who have helped me over time. Thanks.