I was reminded today of the truth, which I failed to have, when I came into this program. I thought I knew everything, but I have to be grateful for my old sponsor, who was able to get me to begin to face the truth. I guess I felt that I knew everything, because of my education and degree. And that had nothing to do with what it was that I needed to let go and start to know.
His waking me up, and getting me to study the BB, was what opened this program for me. The first thing, which hit me, was the spiritual way of life, and then my Higher Power. But more than that. It was the start of me becoming aware that my sobriety depends on me doing what I’m doing just a day at a time. That’s where my mind went to this day.
For the most part I am conscious of this just living sober a day at a time. I was shown a long time ago that I cannot project beyond this day. To do that is to put me in peril of possibly going back and taking another drink of alcohol. And for me I can only guess that it would be fatal.
I have to know, each and everyday, that I’m to focus on this day only. Going into the next day today can get me locked into negative emotions. I can remember going through that kind of thinking in the past. I am aware that from time to time I’m going to trip over my old defects. My mind is going to wander. And that’s where my negative emotions are going to be put back into action. Thank my old sponsor and those old timers, who helped me to stop, when these things come up. I need to ask for help from my Higher Power and then step back from these. To start my day over, going from the negative to the positive. And it works, if I will work it.
This reminds me of what it is I need to continue to practice each and everyday. Why I am here. I am here to stay sober. And each day I have to begin my day that way. The Third Step Prayer and the old Serenity Prayer. That’s a beginning for me. A wake up call. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here. I only have now. And I am grateful for all those who taught me this. I need to thank my Higher Power, this program, and all those, who over time, have helped me to change for the better. Like an old friend always says: I need to get out of the driver’s seat and go to the back of the bus. Thanks.