Today I was given the example of what drives the alcoholic out of this program and back to drinking once again. And not just one time. Often it’s back and forth. But it is one of those awful experiences alcoholics like ourselves go through. And the worst thing is that what brings this around is the total lack of honesty we all suffer from at the beginning. We think we know the truth, but we haven’t got a clue.
I know what taught me this was the man, who became my old sponsor. He was the one who opened me up to the truth. Up to that point, even though I hadn’t taken a drink, he showed me what was wrong with me. And that began how I was to learn what was wrong with me. What is wrong with most of us, when we come in here. He simply said to me that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. That knocked me over.
I’ve talked to a lot of new alcoholics over the years. And I learned over and over what it was that drove us nearly out the door, or right out the door. The inability most of us suffer from. A total lack of honesty. It is hard for us to accept that. Our egos won’t let us accept what was given to me. Like the program tell us: time takes time. Many of us finally hit the truth, but not right away.
Part of this is because we come in here lacking a spiritual way of life. And like Dr. Tiebout told us so many many years ago, the alcoholic suffers from enormous over inflated egos, which need to be deflated by others, over and over again. I know it worked for me. My sponsor and those old timers didn’t hesitate to cut me down to size. And I still admire their good deeds and am grateful for their actions. It’s what I needed and it opened the door to this program. The Second Step and the spiritual way of life and a belief and a relationship with a Higher Power, and then the rest of these Steps.
Anyway I’m glad for the reminder. It’s what always wakes me up and helps me to put this program into action. To stay sober a day at a time. Today. To go no further than right now. No projecting. I’m to stay right where I am and keep on keeping on. It’s always the source of happiness and peace of mind. Continued growth and blessings. I am so grateful for my Higher Power, this program, and the alcoholics in here, who have always helped me along the way. And the freedom I have been given to help othes like myself. Thanks.