Thinking again about that phrase, time takes time. The reason this came up was because of what I was writing about yesterday. Being in control. That’s because over time, and I really mean time, a long time, I changed and am no longer the way I used to be. That is due to this program, my sponsor’s guidance, and the 12 Steps.
Once I used to try to “run” things without any thought of the consequences. No thought of how I was affecting others. Just a self willed alcoholic. All of this leading to arguments with others, who didn’t like it.
Like I said, over time this all changed, as I changed. I was to become sensitive to others needs and feelings. I had to learn to rely on my Higher Power to empower me to change. Self discipline, which I seem to lack became something I had to put into my life in many areas. I’m still learning that, but it’s all to the good.
Over time I learned how to back off. To keep my mouth shut and walk away. Through the 10th Step and the help of others I learned to mind my own business and not get into the problems of others. How many times in the past I would get drawn into arguments, where I had no business being. But, like I said, it has taken time and discipline to do that.
The result is a more peaceful life and an equally more sober life. Looking back it amazes me how dumb I was. Not an excuse, just the truth. Some of the outcomes haven’t always been what I wanted, but at least I wasn’t in whatever was going on. And when I found myself getting angry and resentful, there was always the spiritual axiom in the 10th Step in the 12&12. The one that says, whenever we’re disturbed there is something wrong with us. Amen to that. It’s always true, as I discovered.
All of this is the result of trying to live a spiritual life and trying to practice these principles in all my affairs. Perfect? No way. But far better than it used to be. I still stumble from time to time and miss the mark.
Anyway, today I was thinking that, when I wrote my thought yesterday that there were a few things I needed to shed some more light on. I think I’ve said before that all the changes I have made in this program didn’t happen over night. My unmanageable life I found in the 1st Step is still there. My weaknesses and my character defects are still around. Hopefully better, but that’s because, as time has gone on, I’ve become more dedicated to living a really sober life.
Oh, yeah. I have to say I no longer get discouraged, if I stumble. I know that I just have to get up, dust my self off, as my sponsor pointed out, and keep on trying. Like he said, never give up.
Just a thought about staying sober today.