Interesting day today. One of the things which happened was what was going on in the meeting today. People complaining about personal problems and not seeking a solution. A couple went on for quite a while. One person couldn’t stop talking about their problems.
That led me to think about what I was contemplating last night. This disease of alcoholism and the solution. It was what helped me to start my day over. I couldn’t help but go there today. I mean whatever it is that’s bothering us, there is a solution, if I will stop and follow what it is I have learned in here. I was driven there today.
One of the gifts of this program are these meetings. I have walked into these rooms on occasions driven here because of my “problems”. It was here that I found the peace I needed. I would come in and listen and discover that I was being relieved of the pain I felt. Just a reminder that I come here to learn what it is that I need to know to continue to change and grow along spiritual lines in here.
It was a reminder to me this day that I’m still human and that I have problems like everyone else. I’m far from perfect. Like the BB tells me I’m not even close to sainthood. But there are things I can do when I’m like what I was watching and listening to today. I learned that I can stop my day and start over again. All I have to do is to apply what it is I have learned in here.
The solution to my problems is spiritual. I know that I can see all of this from a strictly human viewpoint, but not solve anything except to continue to convince myself that I’m in control. I can continue to force my ego to grow. And eventually, if I continue along these lines I can end up drinking again. Or…
One of the things I thought about and discussed with a few after the meeting is the Second, Third, and Eleventh Steps. Doing what my old sponsor and those old timers and my close friends in here have encouraged me to do. Stop, step aside, pray and meditate. To change my attitude and start my day over. I came here for one reason. To get sober and stay sober a day at a time. Never ever to drink again. To change from the person I dragged into these rooms.
And I need to look at what I am so grateful for that I have received as a result of being here. I’m still sober after all this time. Talk about a miracle. In fact I should have been dead as a result of my drinking alcohol. Yet I’m still here. Amazing. Plus I need to stop and think about how I have changed in spite of myself. All this from being introduced to a spiritual way of life by my sponsor and all those who reached out and helped me. Then I have to go back to what so basically changed me. My Higher Power.
Anyway it helped me today to stop and think and share with others about these basics I was taught in here. Hardly perfect. Still stumble over my faults. But it demonstrates what I need to do. To continue to learn as long as I can, as a result of being privileged for the gift of this program. And to remember my primary purpose each and every day. I’m here to stay sober this day.
Makes me grateful.