Have talked to a few friends, who are ill. One had brain surgery today and the other needs to rest and take fairly extreme care. Also heard from someone today, who has a child in difficulties. And it all reminds me of the Serenity Prayer. Can I fix anything?
All this and much more has gotten me to step back and do the only thing I really can do. And what’s that? Prayer. I’m powerless myself. But I have to depend on handing others over to my Higher Power. I never want to forget that.
When we talk at meetings about these things, I am reminded of how powerless I really am. Like that prayer says, I need to have serenity over things I have no power ot change. And for me that’s just about everything. I can’t change people, unless they want to change. But it’s still out of my hands. It’s really in the state of spirituality. I can’t change the world, the weather, and certainly not those around me.
And, of course, that brings up what it is that I can change. When I got sober I began to realize that it was alcohol which was always changing me. And that’s when my sponsor and others began to point out what this program was trying to help me accomplish. And that was me changing me. I was told that, if I put this program into action, I would change for the better. And I did. Never want to forget that. A real gift, not just from the program, but basically from my Higher Power. Makes me grateful.
I can get caught up in what is happening to others and the world around me. Or, I can step back and do only what I can and leave the rest to others, the world, and my Higher Power. And that’s in what this program tells me I should do. And, basically, that’s to work on myself. Not being selfish, but not getting in the way, like I always did in the past. I’m always reminded of what that Ninth Step tells me. The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. And that’s not always easy for a human “non spiritual person”. I’m not a saint, but an alcoholic. I have to try and learn my part. And sometimes that’s stepping back and minding my own business and turning it over to the God of my understanding.
Like today, at the meeting, I was reminded of how I need to be grateful for all I have been given. I owe so much to this program, my old sponsor, and all those old timers. And, of course my Higher Power. But I also need to remember how much so many others have reached out and helped me. And I have to be ready to freely give, what was so freely given to me. And that Twelfth Step helps me to do what I need to.