I couldn’t help but think today about my anniversary. I’m not comfortable with this. I feel I’m not that important. I know I have a lot of time in this program and that might be “an attraction”. And I don’t like that thinking. So, in my head, as I have expressed this to a couple of people, I really don’t want to go there.
And that’s when they told me that I needed to go through with it for the new and fairly new people. I guess what they’re talking about is the Twelfth Step. And that kind of makes me back off from resistance. I know from experience that there will be some humor placed on me. I know what some like to do to raise laughter in the room. Been through that often.
My thoughts are focused on the need to help people, who are going through what I went through back in the beginning. Wasn’t easy, but I do remember some, whom had caught my attention. They were examples for me. They were serious about staying sober and were willing to talk about that at any given time. One of them was able to make me feel comfortable, and he was the one, who opened the door to this program for me. He became my old sponsor. He and his wife. They were good examples for me.
Anyway, I’m going to stop thinking about this now. Just needed to express some thoughts. And I know early on in the day, because I had an early appointment this morning, I forgot to turn my life and my will over to my Higher Power. The office I had to go to made sure I had to wait. I sat down and all of a sudden realized I had time. So I closed my eyes and turned my life over to the God of my understanding and dedicated myself to staying sober this day. And I never ever want to forget that. Makes me grateful for that, the Serenity Prayer, and some quiet within.