Talking to a friend today, I was reminded of what I was told by my sponsor, when I came in. He told me to begin to “act as if”. What was that all about?
Over the years I’ve been in this program, I have learned from his directions, that I don’t have to become a victim of my own negative thinking and actions. That I can act my way out of these negative temptations. That often I can become a victim of my own feelings and emotions, which can control what I think, if I let them. As the BB says, eternal vigilance is the price of our sobriety. I first have to be aware; awake. The Steps tell me that it is a “conscious” contact with God. Not an “unconscious” contact.
Bill W. talks about this. How, as we travel this path, we are tempted to wander off into the mountains of pride and the fools gold it presents to us, or to be drawn to the swamp of despair and self pity. Both are traps that pull us off this path to where we can get lost, if we don’t get the help we need.
Fortunately, I have this program and others, who are there to put me back on track, if I will reach out for their helping hands. Then there is my higher power. If I will pause long enough to ask for His help. I was told to take a deep breath and take a step back, ask for help, and then begin to act as if.
I learned, for myself, what it means to act as if. My sponsor told me that I was to begin to act as if I was sober. To look around at the sober men and women in the rooms and to begin to act like them. He told me that, when I got down, I was to act just the opposite. If I lacked faith, I was to act as if I had it. If I lacked hope, I was to act as if I had it. He told me to learn to smile, even when I didn’t feel like it. He also told me that, if I continued to do this, I would find that it was true. I was to learn that no matter how far down I seemed to be slipping into resetment, self pity, anger, or the big shot, I could stop and start my day over. I could, act as if.
Imperfectly as I do this, through my sponsor and others, I have learned that I have resources within myself, and that with the help of God and others, I have the help I need to continue to live a sober life. To think and act in a sober manner. And, more importantly, not to take that next drink, which is where wandering off this path may take me.
Anyway, after our talk, I was thinking about this today.