Another friend of mine and I were talking today about the way we were and how we are today.
We were really talking about old ideas and how difficult it was to give these up. Particularly our thoughts about God, when we came to this program. And that led to our thoughts about faith. Back then and now, today.
All my old ideas were set in granite. I was stone cold situated in these and almost immovable, when it came to having to let go of them. I wanted to argue about these with my sponsor and anyone who would listen to me. I just couldn’t conceive of giving any of these away. But it did make me think that I just might be putting my new found sobriety at risk. After all, the BB tells us that if we try to hang on to our old ideas the results will be nil.
I was reminded of what Fred said in More About Alcoholism. He said that what the men from AA had proposed to him, the outline of the spiritual answer and the program of action, meant that he had to throw some of his lifelong convictions out the window. And that, like for me also, was not going to be easy. But, he said, once he made up his mind to follow through with it, that he was relieved of his alcohol problem.
I wanted to stay sober desperately. But here I was, saddled with a host of old ideas. I didn’t see what Fred had said, or just brushed over it. He said that he agreed to follow the process of action, even though he found it drastic. Though I didn’t know it, so had I. How was I going to manage to get rid of these old ideas? Work the steps. The program of action. How stupid could I be? Very.
My friend and I talked about this process and where it has led us. We both found that we could shed most of the rock solid old ideas. We were able to come to new conceptions, which opened the door to this spiritual way of life. We talked about how doubt became an asset and not what we first conceived as a hindrance. For it was through doubt that we were able to leave a childish faith and replaced it with a child like faith. A more mature faith, which was ours alone.
The underpinning of our sobriety. It became a new and more solid foundation for this way of life.
What we were really talking about was how amazed we were with this process. And how grateful we are for what was given so freely to us.
I was sitting here thinking about this this evening and how great it is to be sober today.