Speaking to and listening to others over the past several weeks, a familiar theme has come up over and over again. It has much to do with our sobriety. In fact, it’s both the strength supporting us in our continuing trudging down this road, and a weakness, which can sabotage our sobriety. It’s relationships.
There is no way, unless we lock ourselves up in a remote cell and starve ourselves to death, that we can avoid relationships. In one form or another, in one situation or another, we are in continuous contact with those around us. Our families, our coworkers, people in stores, malls, parks, wherever. And, of course, those all important relationships we find in meetings.
But, probably the most important relationship we have is with the God of our understanding; our higher power.
From my own experience and that of others, these relationships can lead to wholehearted support from those who love and try to enable our efforts to stay sober. Yet, they can lead us to the worst of our character defects. Anger, rage, resentment, envy, jealousy, pride, fear, and the like. Rejection by another can lead us directly to a drink. Our egos and pride take over and blind us. Probably the most subtle comes from complacency, when we become indifferent to all of our relationships, including our higher power.
I certainly have been caught up in almost all of these at one time or another and have witnessed many others in this program, who have suffered from these effects, over the years.
One of the hardest to correct is when we become angry with our higher power. Pride and fear step in and make it difficult to reestablish this connection. We are cut off from the sunlight of the spirit. Yet it is the simplest to correct.
As Bill points out, an unkind word, a rash explitive, can lead to a broken relationship, which can last forever. Again, guilt and fear come into play, as does self pity and resentment.
But, I have found, that the continuous practice of these spiritual principles, we learn through the Steps, can and do lift us out of the problems we may run into in our everyday lives in our relationships. It is the evidence that we can stay sober under all conditions.
Anyway, I was thinking about this and meditating, about relationships and how it ties in to my sobriety, for a period of time now.