Going to any lengths to get sober is to me what this program is all about. That’s exactly what my sponsor taught me, when I came in. He told me that, if I thought that all I had to do was come in here and hope that somehow the program would rub off, I was in for a big disappointment. He said the only thing that came from osmosis was rigor mortis.
As I was thinking about this today, a flood of memories came back. I remember how often on a Sunday, when my favorite team was playing on TV, the phone would ring and someone would tell me I was needed to go on a 12th Step call. Talk about resistance. How dare they interrupt my leisure time. But, I would end up going anyway.
It was like that with a lot of things in this program. There are many crossroads in this program, where I’m given the choice to go this way or that way. Which will it be? In the end it’s my decision. It’s up to me, if I want to recover or go back to that hell of alcohol.
Like it says in the BB, at some of these we balked. It’s not a perfect life, but the bottom line it is spiritual. My will or that of my higher power?
Someone said today that everyday there are going to be two or three Steps, which are going to come into play in our lives. I know that’s true from my experience. And it’s up to me to apply those Steps to my life, when the time comes. Usually the 10th is always present. Whenever I’m disturbed, it’s me that’s the problem. The question is, will I?
Whether it’s learning how to keep my mouth shut, minding my own business, avoiding resentments, praying or meditating, consciously being aware of how powerless I am, talking to another alcoholic or listening to their problems, acting as if and walking past the ever present unmanageable traits of mine, remembering to depend on my higher power, scanning and being aware of my character defects, there is much which requires me to practice these principles in all of my affairs. In other words, being willing to go to any lengths to stay sober.
Anyway, I was thinking about this today, because I know what drives me. I want to stay sober.