When the BB talks about beyond our wildest dreams, I have often wondered what it was talking about. Sober, I’ve thought I never really had any wild dreams. Drunk? I had all kinds of wild dreams.
I hear people at meetings talking how they’ve come to realize their wildest dreams. Really? Like I said, that always has stumped me. What are my wildest dreams? I didn’t think I’ve had any. But, as I was thinking about this today, and talking to an old friend, it suddenly struck me. I do have a realization of my wildest dreams.
When I was drinking, I reached a point where my only vision of the future was that the best I could hope for was to die on a barroom floor. That was a reality I envisioned for myself. I was helpless under the influence of alcohol. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t stop drinking. So, I had resigned myself to dying an alcoholic death. It was the best I thought could happen to me. Then came my bottom and my introduction into AA.
Today I realized that freedom from alcohol was my wildest dream. When I look back and see how much power alcohol had over me and then realize that through this program and my higher power, I have been freed from it’s grip on me, it’s wonderful. I could never have imagined it back then. Now it’s become a reality. It really is beyond my wildest dreams.
I guess it takes some of us longer than others to really get sober. I’ve come to realize just how slow a learner I am. My sponsor knew what he was talking about, when he said I was educated beyond my intelligence. Blinded by what I thought was my intellectual superiority. What was really my pride and ego. I couldn’t see anything beyond myself, when I came here. It’s only gradually been diminished, through the help of my sponsor and others, who were willing to tell me the truth about myself. I am so grateful that they were able to cut me down to size. Took time and effort on their part to get through to me. It has been a slow process.
Anyway, I’m always amazed at how this program has worked in my life.