Kind of a gloomy day up here, where I live. Raining, a chill in the air. But the trees are bright with Fall leaves in spite of the gloom. It’s that time of the year. However, it seems to affect the alcoholic in all of us.
That effect seemed to come out today in a number of people at the meeting. Like my sponsor used to point out to me, that the alcoholic is oversensitive. Easily hurt and offended by others. Taking things too personally. Like I’m the center of the world and everyone is taking a shot a me. So important.
I had to laugh at myself, when I got home. Once again in front of a mirror, I had to smile. How too seriously I take myself at times. I just had to stick my tongue out at myself and remember how foolish it is to think that I’m the center of attention.
Once again, as one man pointed out today, I have to remember the 2nd Step. Reliance on my higher power, who can restore me to sanity. That sanity, where I stop fighting everyone and everything, including alcohol. And the 3rd Step, where I ask the God of my understanding to relieve me of the bondage of self. My self centered-ness.
All this is depedent, like my sobriety, on the maintenance of my spiritual condition this day. My willingness to step aside and let God be God and me to mind my own business and not His. And not anyone elses either.
All in all, I was thinking, this is a beautiful Fall day. That heaviness I felt earlier is lightened by just smiling. I’m sober and that’s what I really like about this day.