Years ago, I heard a monk talking and he laid out the way we grow spiritually. I thought about this because it fits in with the way the program has worked for me.
I’ve thought these thoughts before, but they have kept returning to my mind over and over again. Probably, I think, because they have proved to be true in my life in sobriety.
What he said was that this journey begins with perseverance. Just being willing to hang in and not quit, despite what might be trying to draw us away from this journey. I remember my sponsor saying to me once that I reminded him of a bulldog. I was often hanging on by my teeth and wouldn’t let go no matter what.
The next step, which came from persevering, was hope. If we hang on, I found, that just watching the results others were having, like staying sober and living happily and at peace is what gave me hope. I saw the examples and the evidence was clear. The program worked. There really was a solution to my alcoholism.
The third step was faith. Faith came to me as the result of persevering and achieving hope. I was beginning to see the evidence I witnessed in the lives of others becoming real in my own life. I was staying sober and my life was getting better. I was changing, just as I saw others change around me. I began to believe in a higher power and a God of my understanding. The Steps were leading me into a way of life I could never have imagined before I came here.
And that’s where love comes in. After a while of staying sober and believing that I had found the solution, I began to slowly stop trying to keep this program for myself alone. I had already heard that the only way I could keep this program was to give it away to others less fortunate than myself. That idea seemed foreign to my selfishness and self centered mind.
Thinking of others wasn’t just something that evolved. It was a revolution for me. Learning to care for another alcoholic began to grow, as I stood witness to all those old timers, who gave so freely of themselves. It was another step in faith for me and I began to hope that I could do likewise. The love of one alcoholic for another started to grow inside of me.
Perseverance, Hope, Faith, and then Love. They come and grow in that order. That’s how it was with me.
I didn’t do or gain any of these four on my own. I was constantly encouraged by my sponsor and others to hang in and hang on. “Keep coming back.” I heard that over and over and I did. I got tired of hearing that but I just did. I came back.
There were other sayings, which were encouraging and hopeful. One was Easy Does It. Or something I never really got a handle on: Don’t get too holy before Thursday. Slow down. There was no hurry. A day at a time I was told I would get to where I was going. And there was no graduation. I was in for the duration.
But I had hope and I had faith. I believed I could stay sober.
There was however a caution given by the man I heard say this. He said that if we lose one of these, we will lose the other three. Stop persevering, going to meetings, talking to others, listening, praying, working the steps, and hope, faith, and love are gone. And probably a lot more; like sobriety.
Anyway, whenever I think of this program and the spiritual journey I continue to strive to learn, I can’t help but think of what that monk said; first comes Perseverance, then Hope, then Faith, then Love. It’s been working for me