Talking to a couple of men in the program this week, they both spoke about their making mountains out of molehills. They said if it was some big event in their lives they both could handle those things with calmness. But when it came to the little irritations we all have, they would find themselves blowing them all out of proportion. I could say amen to that.
Why is that so important to me? Because it’s the old broken shoelace that sometimes gets us drunk again. Letting the little things get the best of us.
Today at the meeting the topic of letting go and letting God came up along with the Eleventh Step. Having the practice of surrender and acceptance in our daily lives. Or, turning it over. When I can remember that, many of these “little” things, which I have turned into these huge unsolvable problems, complicated beyond belief, really melt away. All I really have to do is to step back and release them to my higher power.
That’s where prayer and meditation come into the picture for me. Sought through prayer and meditation. That word “sought”; the seeking, which is the key in my mind. God could and would, if he was sought. I have to go looking. I have to take action.
Having the intention and willingness to improve my conscious contact with God. That word “improve” is also important to me. It means to better my relationship with my higher power. To grow closer. For me it means to have more than just a casual conversation. Or, in the matter of meditation, to really listen. Not that I ever have any expectation of actually hearing something. Except, of course, when I listen in meetings or what my sponsors tell me.
I was thinking about a couple of things as I sat quietly this afternoon. One was the peace and serenity, which comes from letting go and actually resting in prayer and meditation. As I was doing this, I remembered something from the past. The words of St. Augustine in his Confessions. He said something to the effect that he was a vessel of clay, which contained God. He asked himself the question, how could he contain God, when God really contained him?
Anyway, as I sat and thought about this, it brought me to a place of peace and, like I said, serenity, where I could truly surrender and let go and let God. For that I am grateful. Grateful for all the help I have been given in this program. How much all of this has helped me to stay sober; the conversations, the meetings, and the practice of these Steps in my life. It’s always about sobriety.