We stood at the turning point. That line in the BB came up in a couple of conversations today. Made me think, when I got up this morning. Why?
Today I realized just how powerless I am. That line, we stood at the turning point reminds me that everyday is a day I stand at that turning point. Not just when I arrived at the 12 Steps for the first time.
We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. Why? Because of what it said in the chapter preceding this one. Lack of power was my dilemma. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I lack power and need a higher power to empower me to live this sober life. When I think I have a handle on this it’s my ego talking to me. I can convince myself that I can do anything? Really? Hmm.
And the line before all of this in the passage. Half measures availed us nothing. No kidding. And how often I have been guilty of just that.
Yet in spite of all my faults and mistakes, thinking I’m all there is in this world, I’m still sober. And who’s taking care of me, as I bumble and stumble down this path I’m on? The God of my understanding of course. I need to remember that no matter how long I’ve been sober. It’s in spite of me so often.
And what amazes me the most is to go back and ask myself do I have these promises in the 9th Step in my life. The answer, despite all of this, is yes. Something else.
How has all this happened? I think it’s because I realize deep down what I was told, when I came here. That I cannot stay sober by myself. My sponsor drilled that into me and kept giving me his example of depending on the group and his higher power. I have never forgotten his example and his words, even when I forget so many other things. Like the words I just wrote. We stood at the turning point.