The subject today was the First Step. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol…that our lives had become unmanageable. No denying either of those for me. I fit that Step perfectly.
The first “must” in the BB comes right at the beginning in the Doctor’s Opinion. The alcoholic must believe that he is as physically abnormal as he is mentally. Again me. There was no ability to stop drinking on my own and I was about as insane as anyone could be. Again, a perfect fit.
There was no way I could deny any of this. In fact, I believe I took that First Step before I came in, without even knowing what it was. And definitely the Second Step.
As the Step went around the room, many talked about their experiences with this Step. Very illuminating to me. Made me think about different aspects to this Step. But the one thing, which stood out, were several references to the fact that we should be renewing and taking this step every day.
I thought about that remark and said to myself, “Yes”. I know that I concentrate on Steps Two and Three and Eleven each morning. But the First? I probably do, since my bottom is ever present sometime during the day. My incentive to stay sober. But consciously? Well, if I haven’t I should.
Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. I believe that from my head to my toes. I may never think about a drink and I don’t. But I’m still vulnerable always. Alcohol is still out there.
A few said that they were very angry, when they found out that they fit the bill, as an alcoholic. A few said they had no idea that they were beyond help, when they stepped into the rooms. Denial was the only thing between them and the help they needed. But somehow they all finally surrendered and are still sober.
Anyway, this meeting fit the bill for me. Not only can I accept, and hopefully always accept, that I am ever powerless over alcohol. Moreover, that my life is unmanageable still. However the help I receive from my higher power and the sober members of this program makes manageability much easier.