What is it about an open mind and the warning in the BB that hanging onto our old ideas would nullify the effects of this program?
Last night I was reading the story of one woman in one of the books published by the Grapevine, Spiritual Awakenings, where she talked about what happened to her. She had a few years sober in this program and believed she had worked the Steps, but was unhappy. She drank again and had a hard time getting back to the program. After she got back she found out that her mind was closed to the Second Step. She had no higher power. Her old ideas had shut down her mind. Then, with help, she was able to begin again with a more open mind.
I thought about what she had said, because, when I came in, I struggled with getting my mind open to a power greater than myself. My sponsor was always urging me to get an open mind. He told me that I had to let go of all my old ideas, or, like the BB said, the results would be nil.
Eventually I did achieve a more open mind than I had before. I probably did drop some of those old ideas. But, as I sat meditating this morning, I realized that from time to time some of those old ideas tend to creep back into my mind. Sometimes they show up as doubts. Especially, when I’m faced with difficulties, which my mind wants to magnify out of proportion. When I get caught in projecting stuff, which is off into the future.
I had cause this week to examine my thinking, when talking to an old friend, who is very ill. She told me she was “ready”, but it was still a day at a time. I had to agree. No loss of faith or disbelief, because it is just that. It’s always right now. I know we were talking about a higher power. The spiritual answer we all need.
Anyway, as I was thinking today about the open mind, regardless of what I think or don’t think I believe, the old ideas, I know I found that all I had to do was just give up the fight and surrender. That’s why I think to myself that practicing the Second Step on a daily basis and following up with the Third is what enables me to think in a sober manner and to be able to practice what this program has given me, a sober life.
And I know that, if I continue to practice to strive for a spiritual way of life, I can stay sober despite whatever life hands me. I’ve seen the evidence in so many lives of those I have known in this program. I’m still witness to this everyday, when I look around the rooms at all the sober men and women I’m privileged to meet on a daily basis.