This morning I was thinking about the need for an open mind in this program, which would enable us to lead something of a spiritual life, as a result of the spiritual awakening. But then the thought hit me that, more importantly, maybe the open mind is an introduction to an open heart.
My mind is still in control. I may have turned my will and life over to the care of the God of my understanding, but it’s only in His care. I’m still in charge of making the decisions, the choices. They’re still mine. Hopefully l will take care to try to follow whatever I believe is God’s will for me. But maybe not.
And that’s where the spirituality comes in. Not so much in my head, my mind, my will. The spirit may affect that mind of mine and help me make the right choices. But what’s in my heart? My spirit? Hopefully my higher power.
Willingness is the key, as the BB points out. When I decide to work that Third Step, I’m told, that to open the door to this God, my higher power, it’s my being willing. In other words, just like in the First Step, my surrendering. My acceptance of what this Step is all about.
It takes an open mind to arrive at this point. An open mind to make the decision to do this. But for me it takes an open heart to accomplish it. My mind opens the door, my heart is the recipient of my higher power’s entrance into my life from there forward in this program.
If I’m going to stay sober, it’s going to have to be with all my heart. When I sit in silence, hopefully my mind is quiet, not racing or even thinking. Just listening. I’ve become willing to make a conscious contact with the God of my understanding.
The reason I was thinking about this today was because of what happened on the last day I had a drink. My will and my mind had failed me. I couldn’t stop drinking no matter what I had tried over the years. Alcohol owned me. I was helpless. Then I finally turned to the last resort, there was nothing left for me to do, except to resign myself to death. Finally I prayed my first real prayer in years. I prayed with all my heart and asked for help. It worked. It was the beginning of freedom from the bondage of alcohol. It was because I wanted to be sober with all my heart. AA did the rest.