I am responsible. Responsible for what? My own sobriety, my working this program, the maintenance of my spiritual condition. I heard that early on. “You are responsible.”
I’m not responsible for anyone else’s program or sobriety. I only have to accept my responsibility. That means establishing some kind of discipline. Something I never had any concept of, when I came here. Discipline? Not me.
The first concept of discipline in my life came from my sponsor and old timers. It was them, who kept me in line and on target. Self discipline took time. And I was all over the place before I could be trusted to do what I needed to do.
What made me think of this? The meeting today, which was all over the map. But that meeting showed me the lack of discipline we alcoholics suffer from. Wandering away from why I go to meetings. It took several people to bring the “subject” back to why we all came here. Alcohol and staying sober.
Oh, yeah. Two other things came to mind. One was the desperate need most of us have to grow up emotionally and become an adult. Bill W. writes about this, emotional maturity. And my sponsor and those old timers harped on this constantly. Eventually it began to get past the emotional garbage inside of me and I began to hear the message.
The other thing was is that I can start my day over anytime I want to. And one of the helpful hints is to talk to ones sponsor, instead of the group.
Just thinking about sobriety again. And, oh yeah, I am responsible for dealing with my irritants.