Thinking about prayer and meditation today. That was the subject of the meeting, along with discouragement. The last one just the opposite of the first two.
I can’t tell others just how much prayer has meant to me. Often I didn’t know it at the time, because I was discouraged at the moment. But it was prayer, my own and those of my neighbors, many of whom I didn’t know, which led to me getting sober. I said them and so did they and, though I got sober, I didn’t realize how powerful those were. It was only later that I discovered what had happened.
The old timers, back years ago, used to say: don’t get too holy before Thursday. I remember hearing that and had no idea what they meant. Funny thing is that I understood it. They were trying to tell me that time takes time. Not only time, but a reminder that the Steps are in order for a reason. We don’t come in here and suddenly find ourselves at the Eleventh Step. There is a lot we have to do before the door opens and we begin to discover what we are doing and why.
Again I was made to think what one man said. First comes perseverance, hanging in and not quitting, no matter how discouraged we might feel. Next comes hope. Hope is what got me through the doors of this program. I had heard that there was a place where men and women met and stayed sober together. That turned on a light within me in the darkness I lived in. Then at my first meeting I saw the evidence of sober people. More hope.
Next comes faith. Looking around the rooms at the evidence I could see, I slowly came to believe. And next came love. Freely giving away what was so freely given to me.
Those four things, perseverance, hope, faith, and then love, come in that order. And, I was told, if we stop living anyone of them all four will vanish. It’s the process we eventually learn to live by.
Discouragement. Loss of courage. This program taught me courage. I learned that through the Steps. I also learned it by watching the examples of those sober men and women around me. When I got hope and faith, discouragement began to fade and courage began to grow.
And then comes the practice of meditation. Listening to God. Or whatever we call our higher power. Learning to sit quietly and eventually not listening to our thinking, but just the silence. For me anyway. Not looking for results. No flash of lights or voices. If that ever happened I would know it was my ego. And then stopping and going on about my business. Now with an open mind I didn’t have before, so that I can hear and understand what others are telling me.
Anyway, this all has to do with me living a sober life and I’m grateful.