There’s a sentence in the 12&12, which has kept coming back to me through the years. It’s the final phrase, we were struck down and left in terrified loneliness.
That’s in the Fifth Step, where Bill is talking about fear and not being a part of or belonging, which plagued most of us alcoholics. Certainly something which I could identify with over those drinking years and even before.
But it was in that sentence, which is so descriptive of my bottom, struck down and left in terrified loneliness, which has been like an echo over time. I’m actually glad that I have this memory, because it is a reminder to me that I’m still an alcoholic and stay on my toes and to continue to do what I need to do to stay sober.
One of the amazing things about the Steps is how effective they have been in my life and I know in the lives of so many others. For instance this Fifth Step. In speaking about this fear and loneliness of the alcoholic, who felt so removed from others, that this Step was the beginning of the cure for what ailed us. Just the act of opening up and talking to others about our problems, and them in return identifying with them, made us at once “part of” for the first time in our lives. The “we” of the program became a reality.
All these changes I have undergone through just taking these Steps, just like what happened in the Fifth, are miraculous. I’m ever so grateful for them.
Just a thought, which came to me over the past few days. It made me continue to think about what is most important to me, my sobriety.