Thinking today about what is required of me to stay sober, a lot of things came to mind. The first one of course is not to take a drink. That’s simple enough.
Fortunately I have been blessed with a Higher Power, Who, through the spiritual awakening, has restored me to sanity. At least as far as alcohol is concerned. The result of working these 12 Steps into my life. Simple, but not always easy. I was a hard nut to crack, as far as I was concerned.
All I had to bring to this program was a desire to stop drinking. I had that. The rest was up to me to acquire a willingness to do what was asked of me. Like I said, it took time to get all this through my thick mind. I thought I knew better. Wrong. Thank God for the patience my sponsor and those old timers showed to me. I always wondered why they didn’t throw me out the second story window. What a pain I must have been.
And that reminded me of the spiritual axiom in that 10th Step (12&12). Whenever we’re disturbed, there’s something wrong with us. That “us” refers to me. And there it is, “me”. And what’s wrong with me? Me.
One of my character defects is that I can’t leave things alone. It’s always all about me. I know that I have this thing that just wants to egg people on. I find it hard to mind my own business. In other words, if someone does something or says something, which really doesn’t have anything to do with me…but then, everything has to do with me. Me. Me. Me.
That’s one of the things my sponsor worked with me on. To mind my own business. Other peoples problems were their problems and not mine. Al anon has a great statement for this. Detach with love. Step away and let go and let God. The first part of the Serenity Prayer.
If I practice this minding my own business and keeping my mouth shut, letting go and walking away, my life is so much easier. Peaceful and serene. And it’s staying away from that resentment trap that helps me to stay sober. It’s part of practicing these principles I have learned in here in all of my affairs that is a big part of my sobriety.
I really don’t have to go looking for trouble, or pain. Sooner or later it will find me. Like one woman said about her life, when she had trouble, she didn’t take a drink. When things went well, she didn’t drink. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Even, when problems arise, I was told to keep it simple. I want to complicate things. And, when I do, that’s when the suffering is piled on.
Of course there are always these Steps to help me. The BB, if I will only pick it up and read it. The 12&12. The stories of others just like me. The meetings. And, of course, my Higher Power.
How easy it is to forget that my life is unmanageable. And, when I forget that, it’s possible to forget the first part of that 1st Step. I’ve seen it before, when I see and hear others, who are coming back again. And, unfortunately, I’ve seen it in the extremes. The fatal nature of this disease I have.
That’s the reason I have a Higher Power in my life. I learned the hard way that I needed a power greater than myself to empower me to live life. Again, thanks to my sponsor, who introduced me to my Higher Power. My life changed for the better and I’m sober today because of that.