We were talking about the 11th Step and staying sober today, but we might have well been talking about character defects. No matter what I do, my character defects are always there. The question is, what do I do with them?
The reason I say this is that a few said they were reminded of just how immature they are. This was said, not by new members, but people with time in this program. I could well identify with them. Because I have some time in this program and often can feel less than mature.
One of the reasons I was thinking about this is, when I run into problems, I sometimes let my feelings take over. And, when I do, I can often misjudge situations. Letting others get the better of me. That’s when I need to step back and talk to another sober alcoholic. I saw someone going through this today and could identify with them.
Living in a material world and trying to live a spiritual life can be a challenge. At least for me. I’m sure others, as I have witnessed, go through the same thing. The biggest problem is that this kind of stuff can lead to fear, from fear to anger, and from anger to resentments. The list could go on, but the bottom line is that, when I’m like that, I hardly feel sober. And such things have led others to drink again and I don’t want to go there.
So, that’s one of the reasons I go to meetings and talk to other alcoholics. I need to the help of others to stay sober. I can’t stay sober by myself. I need guidance and directions. I need to be reminded of what this program is all about.
But I also need these 12 Steps. Especially knowing what I know from my experience with them, to go to the 10th, find out where I am wrong, and then go to the 11th. To renew my faith and my hope in my Higher Power and spend some time in quiet. Silence. Seeking a conscious contact with the God of my understanding. And then being willing to follow through with what I conceive to be God’s will for me.
I need to do this daily, especially at the beginning of my day.
Anyway, contemplating on the above thoughts and hopefully reinforcing my commitment to staying sober. It’s what it’s all about.