Someone, talking about what sobriety meant to them, mentioned the statement from the BB, the sunlight of the spirit. I had to stop and think about that. I mean I always mistakenly associated the sunlight of the spirit with what it said in the BB. That anger and resentments cut us off from the sunlight of the spirit.
The man was talking about being restored to the sunlight of the spirit. That hit me right between the eyes. The sunlight of the spirit, where I guess I should be.
I remember reading Thomas Merton once, where he was talking about contemplation and he said something to the effect that, when we’re sitting in silence, in God’s presence, that the darkness we experience is really light. That’s what came to mind. When I’m sitting, eyes closed in silence, seeking a conscious contact with the God of my understanding, as in the 11th Step, that I’m probably in the sunlight of the spirit. The light in the darkness.
Certainly I can see where the man, who said this today was coming from. The spiritual way of life we seek in this program, the basis of our sobriety, begins with coming to believe in a power greater than ourselves. That’s the introduction to the rest of the 12 Steps and the spiritual awakening. Also the 12 Promises and more. I can see what it means to thoroughly follow this path. I’m stepping out into the sunlight of the spirit.
Of course I do understand that my character defects, beginning with my pride and ego, can certainly lead me back into darkness. And I’ve been there many times in my time in here. Gratefully I have been rescued from that darkness by the Steps, the people I know in sobriety, and by my Higher Power. I know that from my own experience. Just another demonstration to me that I can’t stay sober by myself. I have no doubt, being human, that my stumbling and bumbling self is still with me and I’m going to have to pay more attention.
However, as imperfect as I am, I still have hope and faith in the program and the people, who have helped me along the way, that if I rely, as I should on my Higher Power, that I can stay sober.
Anyway, I’m grateful that the man spoke up today and caught my attention. That’s part of the reason I love to go to meetings.