Sometimes the hardest thing for me to do is to be pleasant and cheerful, positive, when I’m not feeling good. That’s when I need to rely on my Higher Power for assistance. I don’t always succeed, as it started out today, but gradually I did turn it around. That wasn’t my doing.
Why is that so important to me? To me, my being with others, it’s part and parcel of the 12th Step. Practicing these principles in all of my affairs. Once again, I’m thinking of these principles as spiritual. And they are.
But, like I said, I can be way, way far from any kind of perfection in doing this. Today was one of those days to start with. Not that I didn’t begin my day with prayer and meditation. I did. And part of that was to attempt to change my attitude. But physically it was a struggle. I won’t go into details on any of this.
One of those things that helped me get past me was the effect I had on one person. That made me stop and think of why I was where I was in the first place. So, I took a deep breath and just went at the rest of the day in a more positive way. Getting someone to laugh and helping them was one way. I still didn’t feel great, but I was able to overcome me. Again I relied on my Higher Power.
Later I received a couple of calls from people, who shared their difficulties with me and that further pulled me out of where I was. Thank God for others. They helped me more than I know I did them.
What I started to think, when I began this, was, as always, it’s about living the sober life I have been given. To use the tools my sponsor and those old timers gave to me. Along with those 12 Steps of course.
Just another reminder to me that the spiritual life is not a theory. It has to be lived…in spite of myself.