Had to laugh at myself this morning, when I was trying to meditate. A song suddenly came to mind. Somethings Got To Give from an old movie with Fred Astaire. It went something like this: When an irresistible force such as you, Meets an immovable object like me, Some thing’s got to give.
What did that remind me of? Me. That’s the way I was, when I came into the program. I think I’ve gone over this before, when I thought about my early days. I didn’t want to drink ever again, but I resisted having to do what this program asked of me. The immovable object. And, of course, the irresistible was my Higher Power, the spiritual way of life, and the program itself. Guess what? I was moved. Like my Higher Power and the men and women in the program said to me, “Move over.”
And I did. I had to, if I wanted to stay sober. If I hadn’t, I’d have probably drunk again and died. But, having finally taken that 2nd Step, having picked up the rest of those 12 Steps with the encouragement and example of my sponsor and those old timers, I finally moved and began this new way of life, which saved my life and showed me how to live life for the first time.
This old song came to mind to me in the meeting today, when a young man said he was coming back from drinking again. I could have finished his sentences for him. Not that I had ever drank again, but just the thing he was doing that led him back to a drink. He was “dry” in the program. Not drinking, but resisting change, just like I did. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, he went back out and caused himself more pain. Maybe that’s what he needed to move him over.
I thought how difficult it is for someone like me to surrender. Even though I had already surrendered to that 1st Step. Completely surrendered. But, like I said, it was not enough. And then the miracle happened. My sponsor got me to move and started my journey along this path, which led to the spiritual awakening and restoration to sanity.
Others talked to this man today and told about their initial difficulties in continuing to surrender. I know he was listening, because I watched as he often turned and looked at those speaking to him. I also saw him after the meeting, staying behind and listening to one of our members. I can only hope he heard what he needed to hear and became willing to do what we all did to follow the road to a sober and rewarding life.
Again I laughed, when I thought how I can often become that immovable object once more. Taking my will back and trying to do things my way. Hardly perfect. A reminder to me of how much I need others to help me along the way to stay sober.