Talking to an old friend of mine in this program, I was reminded of what it is to be a “new” person in this program. Coming in confused, totally uninformed as to this disease and what it’s all about. And then trying to listen to others, who are sober, I know is a burden on the new man or woman. Often seems that too much information is given out before we’re ready for it.
I told my friend how it was, when I was given my first BB. I had no idea at that time what was really wrong with me. But the Doctor’s Opinion opened my eyes. I found out what was wrong with me was that I was an alcoholic. That word “alcoholic” seemed to be something I really never thought of. But there it was.
Moreover I found that I had a disease. As the BB said there that we had to believe that we were as abnormal physically as we were mentally. That sure described what I was suffering from at the time. It still didn’t tell me right away that I was also suffering from a spiritual malady. That black hole within me. I knew that was there, but I didn’t have any idea what it was.
For quite a while, when I came in, I was filled with all kinds of opinions, which kept my mouth running, until one old timer told me to shut up. He said I didn’t know what I was talking about. That I knew how to drink, but I had no idea on how to stay sober. He told me to listen and I would learn.
Of course he was absolutely right. And I did exactly what he told me to do. I sealed my mouth and began to try to get my ears open to hear what the sober men and women would tell me. All this because I never wanted to pick up a drink ever again.
Eventually I became willing to begin to work this program. To put those Twelve Steps into action. To not only read the BB, but to study it, as my sponsor pointed out. The introduction in the Third Edition said that this book was a text. My sponsor asked me what I was supposed to do with a text. I replied, to study it. That, he told me, was what he wanted me to do.
I guess I still am in a way.
Anyway, just thinking about this made me stop and think about some meetings, where a new person comes and asks for help, and then seem to be ignored after a while, because some in the group seem to lose control of their mouths and cross talk and joke around. That kind of meeting never took place, when I came in. Glad it didn’t. I needed all the help I could get.
Often I think the Fifth Tradition gets lost in the shuffle. The primary purpose of the group. To carry the AA message to the alcoholic, who still suffers. Sometimes that’s not just the new person. As one man pointed out the other day, that could very well be all of us. I need to know that there is always a solution. A spiritual solution.
And, I know, that I don’t need to sitting there listening to outside issues. If it’s not about alcohol, it’s an outside issue. That too is in the traditions. And none of us our psychiatrists or mental therapists. And even it we were, we don’t come here to practice our professions. We’re here to stay sober and help another alcoholic. That kind of stuff is for the offices and the other places outside the meetings. As the BB tells us, there are other people, if we have other problems.
Ooops, I’m complaining again. Oh well, sometimes I can’t seem to help myself, when meetings turn into psychotherapy, or subjects other than staying sober from alcohol.
I’ll stop and get my mind back on the subject of my staying sober. The spiritual solution I found in here, which saved my life and changed it, through the introduction of a Higher Power into my life. How grateful I am for that.