Back, when AA was founded, anonymity was on every members mind. The fear of discovery that the members were alcoholics governed their minds. But over time the importance of being discovered began to fade. However anonymity was found to be an important part of the program. And that’s where the spiritual foundation began.
Most of the members lost their fears. As AA grew so did it’s members. They became less worried about someone finding out about their former drinking problems. When people did they found for the most part that others were tolerant and understanding of them. After all they found out that so many knew all about them anyway.
However in the program they found that anonymity was the basis for something we all needed, humility. Not just humility, but a safeguard to honor our fellow alcoholics and not be going around revealing their presence in the program. Eventually the saying, what you see here, and what you hear here, leave here, came into being.
I remember way back when I had to make a business call on a large corporation in Wash. D.C. When I got to the office of the president, I ran into a woman I knew in the program. She was the executive secretary to the president. I was surprised, because I had never thought of what she did. And here she was. Just as I walked up and greeted her the president stepped out of the his office. He looked back and forth at both of us. Her face was beet red. He asked how we knew each other. My response was that we met in church. He just said, “Oh”, and smiled and nodded. And that was that. Her anonymity was secure, at least as far as it went with me. And so was mine. And the truth was we did meet in church where the meeting was held.
However, on the other hand, my concern about anonymity in the program is that we carry it too far. For example I wonder if others have had the experience I had. I went to a hospital one day to visit someone, who had emergency surgery overnight. I walked up to the desk never thinking about what happened next. I asked for the person by their first name and I was asked what their last name was. In my caring about this person I had never thought of that. I didn’t know. Of course they couldn’t confirm that this person was even there. I was embarrassed and frustrated. Later I called some of the other members and they didn’t know this person’s last name either.
Wouldn’t it be nice to know others last names for the same reason. I know that friends of mine in the program died yet I never knew it, because I didn’t know their last name. I mean we were friends in the meeting and even afterward, but because we all avoid “breaking our anonymity”, we never think about this. Are we trying to protect ourselves from others going out and spreading the word that we’re in the program? Sounds like it. Are these “fears” reality? I think not.
Yet there is still a need for anonymity on a local and national, as well as an international basis. I can remember way back when one of the old members wrote a book. It became a national best seller. It was about their alcoholism and their recovery. It was also made into a movie. And guess what? They got drunk big time. Some told me that it backfired on the program. Made people think what good was this program, if someone stops drinking and then gets drunk again and again.
We see this happen so often in a small circle of us. It’s not in the press, or on television, or radio. But like the person above it can be devastating, when that does happen. Not just for the alcoholic, but AA.
When I started thinking about anonymity and the Traditions, it’s not because I’m wise or smart. It’s only that, when I came in, they used to have study meetings on the Steps and the Traditions and I would hear what those old timers said about them. I was glad I had those opportunities. They kind of opened my eyes, my mind, and eventually my heart. The Traditions, like the Steps, are an essential part of the spiritual program we’re trying to live. Part of our sobriety.
Anyway anonymity was part of the meeting today and I had to take a moment and think about it.