A young man reminded all of us of ourselves today. The mental obsession. He wanted to hear how we got past that dreadful passion, which held us all in the grips of alcohol. Good topic and everyone with sobriety went into detail how it held them in its grip and how surrender and working the Twelve Steps changed us and freed us.
After I got home I had to sit down and think about how I was blinded by the obsession I had to drink. Once again I had to go back to what the BB said in the Doctor’s Opinion, that the alcoholic had to believe that he is as physically abnormal as he is mentally.
I can think it’s strictly a mental problem, but that’s not what Bill W. or many doctor’s believe today. It’s a physical disease. It’s in our genes. Bill talked about Dr. Bob in AA Comes of Age. He said that the insatiable craving Dr. Bob had for years, after he stopped drinking, was physical. That’s what I believe about the way I drank. And I’ve talked to others, who have told me the same thing.
Of course the spiritual awakening I had changed all that. I’m so grateful I never had to suffer the nightmare that gripped Dr. Bob. But I do know of others, who went through some of the same thing. Maybe not for the length of time Dr. Bob did.
However there is a “negative” on all of this, which still plagues a lot of us. Many spoke about that today. The habit of obsessive thinking. Made me laugh, when one man spoke about that today. He said what would we think if we became obsessive about the program and staying sober. Maybe that’s what I have.
But I know that I can get hooked into obsessing about a lot of things. Like so many said today that seems to be what happens to them from time to time. However it’s not the same thing as what we had, when we came here. Besides, having worked this program, my mind is in a different place now. Putting the spiritual program into action on a daily basis has taken the forefront. My primary purpose.
Anyway, it was a good remember not to slip into complacency and think I have it made. I don’t and never will. We were all reminded by several people that this is an incurable disease. Even though we my never think about a drink, below the surface in our unconscious mind, the disease is still there. It will be to the end of our days here on earth.
Good reminder to think sober thoughts and stay on this path I’m on with so many like myself. Not alone anymore. And I have faith that my Higher Power is there to lead me by the right road, as long as I seek his help.