Something happened today, which brought up the word “balance” to mind. In calling my oldest daughter today, I discovered to my surprise that she was in the hospital. She had emergency surgery yesterday. Serious business. And yes, more than just a surprise. Something on the order of a shock.
Later in the day, after spending a couple of hours with her in the hospital, I talked to an old friend in the program. We went over a lot of things and one of them was an old saying in this program, which has worked for me before many times over. We both talked about what it has done for both us and how it has brought about changes many times in our lives. A simple statement my sponsor made to me, his too, and same with so many of us in this program. “Act as if.”
Like both of us said, the emphasis of that statement is on the first word, “act”. Action. And that’s exactly what happened after I first talked to her this morning. Act as if everything is all right. After all I had to turn my mind around. It’s not me in the hospital. It’s my daughter. I’m not the one suffering, she is. I needed to go there with some kind of balance. And that’s where my Higher Power came in.
I asked for help. To let go and let God. And then to have a positive frame of mind. Came from acting as if. By the time I got to the hospital I could go in with a positive attitude. I was there to comfort and support. I knew I had no power and could not fix her. I was just there for her.
Why all this? What I was thinking about was living and acting in a sober manner. It’s still all about sobriety. Getting drunk never crossed my mind, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t have. It has happened to others and I know I’m just another alcoholic. I was thinking about my primary purpose, which is to stay sober and practice these principles in all of my affairs. If I couldn’t help another alcoholic today, I could reach out to my suffering daughter, with the only help I had. To be there for her.
And all of this started before I made that call. It started with prayer and went on from there. The need to be in contact with the God of my understanding and seek the knowledge of his will for me. And there it was. To say I’m grateful is an understatement.