Sometimes I am so surprised at what happens that it almost makes me dizzy. I was sitting here thinking about a man, who was “coming back”. He must have been doing this for a long time. He mentioned a man, an old timer, whom I think is no longer with us. I looked at this man and tried to guess his age. Couldn’t. He’s definitely not a youngster. An oldster. And I felt bad for him.
I’ve seen this stuff happen both ways. Old guys. I mean old, who come into the program, get sober, stay sober and pass on a few years afterward, happy for what had happened to them. I’ve seen that serenity, peace, and pleasantness on their faces near the end. Never want to forget that.
One of these men, who got sober in his 60s, when he was in his late seventies said a couple of things I have never forgotten. One was that AA didn’t add years to his life, but did add life to his years. The second was, when he was dying I went to see him in the hospital. I was walking down the ward toward his bed, when he sat up and looked at me coming toward him. “What’s that look on your face?”, he called out to me. “Take it off! I’m the one who’s dying.” And then he broke out laughing. Who could forget those moments?
On the other hand I have seen men like this man today, who never seem to be able to get sober, even though I suspect they want it. For whatever reason they don’t get it.
At my age, I am able to enter the minds of both these examples. At least how they feel. Both of them touch me deeply. I’ll let it go at that.
Anyway what was it that surprised me? Here I was sitting and thinking about the elderly in sobriety and I received a note from a friend of mine about the passing away of an old timer, an elderly woman this past April. What a story! She was 97 at her death. Moreover, she was 68 years sober!! And there’s more, but I’ll let someone else, who knew her to someday tell her story. I just wanted to pass along something else.
Her name was Carol O’. I’ll maintain her anonymity, because of what I’m going to do next. Carol had been given a card early on in the program. Apparently there was still influence of the Oxford movement around, even though it was “gone”. On one side of the card were the Four Absolutes of that group. Absolute honesty, unselfishness, love, and purity.
On the other side of the card was a prayer, which she was said to recite everyday. She would often openly say that prayer, when speaking. So much so that it became to be called Carol’s prayer. Thinking about her age, her years in sobriety, I thought I’d add the prayer.
Thank You, dear God, for another day,
The chance to live in a decent way,
To feel again the joy of living
and happiness that comes from giving.
Thank You for friends who can understand
and the peace that flows from Your loving hand.
Help me to wake with the morning sun,
With the prayer today, “Thy will be done.”
For with Your help I will find the way.
Thank You again, dear God, for AA.
Just thinking about sobriety.