I was thinking today about the things I, we, go through each day. The ups the downs, the emotions, our reactions, the good and the bad, everything. How we mix with others and our reactions and responses to each and everyone. At the end of the day, the Tenth Step.
Of course the attempts to practice these principles in all of our affairs. Really? My primary purpose, not take that next drink and help another alcoholic, if possible.
When the moment comes to conclude the day, where am I? Good question, or is it? If I do take that Tenth Step, how do I come out? Did I start my day turning things over to my Higher Power and asking for help? When I ran into difficulties, did I again ask for help? Am I talking to others? Asking for guidance? Did I go to a meeting and participate? Did I listen to others and offer to share with them?
Am I worried, anxious, fearful, angry, upset? Or, am I at peace with myself? Happy? How do I get along with me? Am I in pain from the life I’m living? Or am I in a good place?
The reason I was going through all these thoughts is because, regardless of what is going on, do I recognize who and what I am and what I’m doing, or supposed to be doing? Do I remember that I’m and alcoholic and suffer from an incurable disease? That, even though that I’m part of the universal human condition, I often don’t think or react to life, as do others. I think like an alcoholic except…I have been given a way out of this.
And what have I been given? I have been given a program, which has opened the door to a healing process called a spiritual way of life. Doesn’t matter what I believe or how I conceive this way of life to be. As long as I work these Twelve Steps, find a power greater than myself, stay sober and accept the help of others like myself, I begin to change for the better no matter what is going on in my life.
I know that I have to accept that I’m never going to do things perfectly. Like I was told the only Step in the program I am able to work perfectly is the First. The rest is often up for grabs, as they say. I know that , if I’m trying to live this spiritual way of life, that my life is going to get better. And it has. I also know that from time to time I am going to be presented with the opportunity to change. A never ending process. Often I know I resist. That causes me pain, which makes me uncomfortable, until I surrender and accept again and again.
One thing, which opens my mind and my heart, is the gift of the spiritual awakening(s). This, because I became willing to open the door to a power greater than myself. The Second Step, which for me is one of the keys to this way of life I never want to forget. How often I go back to that chapter in the BB, There Is A Solution, and reflect on the story of Dr. Carl Jung and the young man, whom he helped. The solution I found in here.
Anyway, I just wanted to stop and reflect on the gift I have been given. A sober way of life, which saved my life.