Someone said something today, which caught my attention. They commented on the saying “to listen as only the dying can listen”. That brought back memories and realization that it’s always true. That’s because none of us is cured of this disease.
I do remember what it was like, when I finally realized what was happening to me. When I finally realized that I didn’t know that I didn’t know, I only thought I did, as my sponsor pointed out to me, I did begin to listen. And listening, when I thought I knew everything, was not an easy thing to do. I had to learn how to force myself to do things I was uncomfortable listening to.
Over time I have learned that I still have to make myself listen at times. Something inside of me sometimes rebels. I still suffer from the human condition we all have. I can tell myself that I want to live a spiritual life, but that doesn’t mean I have or do, or even want to do from time to time. I still have my faults and they pop up, often when I least expect them. Then I have to go back and remind myself of what I was told a long time ago by my sponsor and all those, who wanted the best for me. Do I?
Good question. When I think I’m listening at a meeting, or when someone is talking to me, the question is am I? And, if I’m not, what’s wrong with me? It’s time to wake up and pay attention. If I’m telling someone my thoughts, about what I have learned in here, do I hear what I’m saying?
Anyway, I was made to pay attention today, because of what this person said about listening as only the dying can listen. It’s in the First Step in the 12&12. Good reminder. I want to stay sober, so I better pay attention.