Had to laugh at myself the other day, when I found out that I had been scheduled to lead an AA Big Book meeting. I had forgotten and was shocked when a friend of mine and I ran into each other and he said he had heard an announcement of that fact. And to top it off the discussion is about Bill’s Story.
Every once in a while Bill’s life comes to mind. I knew people, who were associated with him, back when I came in. I have never forgotten one of them, a nurse I worked with, who had met him at a reception in Md. She told me that she was shaking all over from anticipation of meeting him. When she got up to him, he asked her what was bothering her. She in turn told him that it was just the idea of meeting him. She said he shook his head and said, “Look, honey, I’m just another alcoholic just like you.” She said she never forgot that. Nor have I. I have often used that to equate myself with others.
I’ve heard tapes of his over the years and have been able to identify with him. Just reading his story in the BB I have found a lot of similarities in his bondage to alcohol. The insanity he suffered from was so similar. But it was something other than alcohol, which struck me. And that’s what I was thinking about tonight.
It was in his describing his meeting with his old friend Ebby T. and their discussion on how Ebby had gotten sober. Ebby told him that he had gotten “religion” and that was repugnant to Bill. He almost rejected it immediately after hearing that. But as their discussion about this went on, Ebby said to Bill that maybe he should pick his own conception of God or a Higher Power. And that led Bill to write quite a bit about this in his life and how this led him to work with other alcoholics in this area and how many of them got sober as a result.
And, of course, this went back to how Ebby told him the friend, who had gotten him out of the court and the hands of the judge, had described what his friend had told him. And that was that this man, who was written up in chapter three of the BB, There Is A Solution. He had been treated by the famous Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. And Jung had introduced him to the idea of seeking a spiritual experience. The man did and ended up in the Oxford Movement in the U.S. And, of course this led Bill and his wife Lois into the group and their involvement with alcoholics getting sober through association with the Oxford Group. And that in turn led to Bill and Lois being dismissed by the leader of the Oxford Group because he claimed they were messing with the group and he wanted them to leave and take their alcoholic friends with them.
And eventually that led to the alcoholics who were asked to contribute to the BB to separate the program from religion and open the door to all alcoholics regardless of what they did or didn’t believe. None of this is in Bill’s Story. It’s what I have picked up from all sorts of sources since I have been in this program. And it’s what got the early members to change the “God language” in the Steps so that they are acceptable to whoever comes in and wants to get sober.
In the beginning of the program Bill got into some trouble by driving some newcomers away by insisting that they believe what he believed. Later on he regretted this saying that it was the result of his spiritual pride which drove him to do this. This is addressed in the BB, where it tells us that we are not here to teach the new man what we believe. We’re to leave it up to them to believe in whatever makes sense to them.
Just thinking about all of this stirs up a lot of thoughts within me, relating to my staying sober. In fact my old sponsor’s sponsor was led into this program by Bill and Dr. Bob. Bill died just before I came through the doors to this program. His life and his journey in sobriety has had a great influence on my sobriety and I never want to forget that.
Anyway going back over Bill’s spiritual awakening, as he wrote it, raised a lot of things I need to think about each and everyday. I am so grateful we had this man to become one of our co-founders. That and all of his writings he left for us has had so much of an influence on me and so many of my friends. And to think that all of this is out there for all, who have come into this program. Makes me grateful for his gifts to us.
Again thinking about staying sober today.