One of the things which struck me today are friendships I’ve been able to make in this program. I can’t help but stop and look back at these, when they were formed, and how they have been maintained over all these years.
When I was out there, whatever friendships I had were definitely on the rocks. My drinking and my insanity from alcohol were the primary destructive forces. Even in my family I could see the damage from my infantile personality. It was going to take time to ever get any of this back on track.
Then I finally got sober and came into this program. That in itself was remarkable. But even more significant was what happened as a result of all of this. Even early on. I met people just like myself and somehow we began to form friendships. I look back and think about how I was at that time and I can hardly imagine anyone would ever like me. I was still drying out. I still had that alcoholic insanity. And to top it all off, I was still significantly almost a child. I had failed to mature and grow up into an adult.
Yet there it was. Those persons, who overlooked my personal difficulties and accepted me as I was at that time. Thinking about it still makes me amazed at the tolerance and love of some of these people.
And there it is, what I had failed to comprehend in my life, whether with family or acquaintances. Love. Pure love. There was nothing beyond the caring given to me and how I was to learn to respond to that. Talking and sharing and slowly but surely to begin to grow up. And the longer we were able to go through the problems around us, trying to get sober and stay sober, the more firm in foundation these friendships became.
Today I realize that there are different levels of friendships. Some basically are very close and we’re bound to one another. Basically mentally and spiritually. A caring which is deep and sincere. Heartfelt is one word. I have at least two I think of all the time. There are others but these are persons who live far away geographically, but are still very close despite that. I know from the past that they are there for me and I for them.
Of course there are others, who fit into this category of close friends and hopefully we are ever there for each other. Love was a word of which I had an ill conception. But time and experience growing out of what this program taught us all changed all of that. I could hardly say to anyone that I loved them. That has disappeared as a result of growing along spiritual lines.
Once again I go back to the changes, which came about in my life from the moment I began to put that Second Step into action within me. It was the start of the spiritual awakening in this program and gradually deep into my life. The hope, the faith, and eventually the love began to emerge within me. And I know in the lives of others around me. Hard to explain. It just is.
I know how we have helped one another during those difficult times, as we emerged from the trash alcohol had put into our lives. I know definitely how much we all have helped one another to remain sober. I also know how spiritually we all have grown and have helped to pick one another up, when we stumbled and fumbled from the emotional aggravations of our natures. Steering one another away from the thought of a drink and keeping our focus on why we are here.
But there is much, far deeper than anything I had ever experienced in my life before. Far beyond my wildest dreams.
Some of us have been sober for many years. Like I said, two of them almost from the very beginning. I need to thank them and the others for all they have done for me. However I know they know as I know. These friendships are gifts we have received as a result of coming here and getting sober. I also need to thank my Higher Power for these.
Just meditating on what I have been fortunate to receive.