Over time in here I often have to stop and think about making amends. The reason I’m thinking about this is because someone brought this up. Wasn’t so much about making amends. They were disturbed by people close to them. And that brought up people disturbed by those they had to make amends to.
Then, after the meeting, a few people came up to me and asked me about my experiences in making amends. It made me go back and share about those whom were difficult for me. That was what they were having to deal with. Not easy for them, as I talked to them on an individual basis. I could understand where they were. Nothing new.
It made me think of a couple of people, who were totally angry at me for my drinking and other things. I knew that, when I ran across something like this I had to take the time to do, not only what I was told, but to follow what the Ninth Step in the 12&12 said. Especially about a careful sense of timing. That was extremely important. When I failed to use good timing, it often led to some anger on the persons part.
The next was prudence. Being able to use good judgment in my language. What I would say and the way to say it. And finally the courage I needed to do this. And that’s where the spiritual life came into what I was trying to do. That would take prayer, but also sometimes help from a sponsor.
I knew I needed to go back and remember how it was for me and others. Plus I never wanted to forget, although I didn’t bring it up, when the restoration to sanity in the Second Step came into being, when I was making an amend. I was relieved of anger, my resentments all vanished, and I found I had stopped fighting everyone and everything, including alcohol. What a gift.
And, of course, I and others always needed to put the Serenity Prayer into action. To accept the things I cannot change, which is about everything, when I pray and use my head. And of course to change the things I can. In other words to ask for the courage to change me.
Anyway I had to stop and think about all of this. It’s part of why I am here. To stay sober a day at a time. To be able to express my gratitude for all I have been given by my Higher Power. Also to remember to thankful for my old sponsor and all those old timers in here. Then too all my friends and so many alcoholics who have helped me by freely giving to me what has helped me to stay sober.